Releasing What You Can't Control

There are many things that happen in life that are simply out of our control.

Things that happen to us and around us that we are unable to prevent or change despite our best efforts.

The weather. Time. Other people’s actions. Aging. Facebook being down.

Yet one of the most significant things that is within our control is our response. How we carry ourselves in the midst of what we did not choose.

We get to completely own that and decide how we will steward it.

Some things may be easier to respond to with grace while others may require more of an intentional choice that we have to firmly make.

Like when we aren’t able to determine how long God has us in a season. Or how He allows our circumstances to unfold. Or even how He shows up in the midst of a challenging moment.

The things that often push us to our limits and stretch us beyond our capacity.

I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t always responded well to the circumstances God has allowed in my life.

In fact, there have been plenty of times when I was no better than the Israelites, murmuring and complaining my way through things instead of trusting His ways.

Allowing my emotions to pull me away from God as if I needed to protect myself from Him. Anything that would give me a sense of regaining the control that I desired to have.

Because if we’re honest, not being in control has a way of stirring up a fight or flight response within us.

We either fight to regain our grip or we run for the hills.

But Hannah offers a different approach in 1 Samuel 1 that I’ve come to really admire lately.

Her story captures the weight of living with circumstances beyond our control, offering us a raw glimpse into what it means to be unable to dictate God’s will for our lives or the actions of others.

The Lord closed her womb for reasons unknown. Reasons that I imagine her heart longed to make sense of because there’s something deep within us that desires to understand what we can’t control.

And yet our need for understanding can sometimes stem from the discomfort that comes with the vulnerability uncertainty creates.

If we can make sense of a thing, we can manage it. And if we can manage it, we can at least regain the feeling of being in control.

But let’s table that thought for a second and continue with the story of Hannah, because it doesn’t end with the Lord closing her womb.

She had a rival who “provoked her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb.” 1 Samuel 1:6 NKJV

Hannah was already grieving something beyond her control, and then someone came along to deliberately aggravate that grief.

Reminding her of what she did not have as if she wasn’t living in that reality every day.

We don’t even have to imagine how that felt for her: she was suffering deeply. Full of sorrow and pain, weeping to the point of not eating.

She couldn’t change how God allowed her circumstances to progress, nor could she prevent her rival from using her barrenness to taunt her severely.

At this point I imagine that life felt very disorienting for Hannah. Leaving her to wonder how she ended up here, and what happened to the life that she envisioned for herself.

And maybe we can relate to that too, or find ourselves somewhere within her story.

Carrying wounds from circumstances that we did not choose, not being able to determine God’s will for our lives or the actions of others. And none of it making any sense.

There was no regaining control here, and maybe that was the whole point. Because Hannah’s response points to something deeper.

She poured out her soul before the Lord. Her anguish and grief led her to His presence instead of away from it.

Because sometimes we can feel so deeply that we begin to wonder if God cares at all, concluding that if He did, we wouldn’t feel the way that we do.

But I’m here to remind you that our pain is not evidence of His absence or His lack of concern for what happens in our lives.

'The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.' Psalms 34:18 NIV

He doesn’t take pleasure in our distress, but He does stand in the midst of it ready to be exactly who we need Him to be.

Hannah’s response also serves as a reminder that prayer isn’t meant to be the thing that we do after exhausting all other options.

It's meant to be our first, intentional response.

Because it’s through prayer that we shift from self-reliance to dependence on God. And when we acknowledge Him, He directs our paths. When we come to Him, He gives us rest.

Even when we don’t have the words to convey the heaviness of our hearts, He understands.

Every groan, every tear, every sigh.

And my prayer for you today is that you would be rooted in the faithfulness and compassion of God. Believing that He is your refuge and strength, a very present help in the time of trouble.

May you surrender all that you're carrying to God and experience His love, peace, and joy in the midst of it, allowing the things that are out of your control to lead you to the One who is in control.